What Just Happened?

Cunning, baffeling, and powerful.

I had a great day eating until I got home with the kids from after school activities. I had tennis today and didn't eat any of the food there except some carrots. For lunch I ate grilled chicken and roasted okra. I had two hard boiled eggs for breakfast. I had some corn nuts for a snack. I was NOT hungry.

I picked up Chick-Fil-A for the kids. I coudn't resist the waffle fries and ate both Josh and Jack's leftovers. Probably one serving size in all. I also ate a kale salad with chicken and some crackers. Plus some roasted okra. After Carmen got home and ate her dinner I ate her left over chicken sandwich about 1/4 and some fries. I was itching for something else. I just couldn't stop thinking about eating something sweet. Oh and I had some spoonfuls of almond butter after my dinner.

Well I just couldn't let it go. I decided to have just "one" spoonful of Nutella. Right, just one. I read the serving size I knew the calorie count. One spoonful wouldn't hurt. Holy shit!! There is not such a thing as one spoonful of Nutella when it comes to me. I proceeded to have 5 spoonfuls each time putting the lid back on and putting it back in the cupboard. What in the hell? I just couldn't stop. Finally I'd had enough of the insane behavior and I threw it away in the garage trash can so I couldn't get to it again. Oh My!!

I felt sick. Both physically and mentally. I'm mad. How could I let that happen? What exactly did happen? Was it the waffle fries that set up the craving? Was it that I haven't had sugar like that in over 30 days? Did I feel deprived? Was I tired? Bored? What?

Doesn't matter what it was. All that matters is that I don't beat myself up over it. I can start over at anytime and not do it again. At least not tonight. I feel hungover. I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed. Good Night.