Today is the latter. It seems like I've been depriving myself FOREVER! I know it's only been 25 days since starting this HCG diet but it just goes on and on. I am so over it. BUT then again I'm losing weight and that makes me happy.
What I really truly want is to be free from obsessing about food all the time, to be able to eat sensibly, to be healthy, AND look GOOD. Is that too much to ask?
Just when I think I've got a handle on this food situation I fall back into "this is to hard." I know the answer is GOD it's always GOD. I wish I was more patient to wait on God's timing. Seems like I've been asking God for help forever. I guess that's the point, huh? To always need God. Hmmmm, I've got to chill out.
Life is hard without food. Or I should say coping with life is hard when I'm not using food to medicate my feelings of being overwhelmed. Or my feelings of anxiety frustration anger. It's just too much.
I've got one more week on this HCG diet then it's back to eating normally without the strict boundaries. I'm scared of what that will be like. In the past, I have never been able to control my food intake for very long. I can do it for a while but then I crash and burn. I don't want to do that this time. I'm going to have to lean on God more than ever and ask for help.
Last night I ate normally when I took my sister Laura to the airport. We had a nice dinner at a restaurant. I didn't not eat within the HCG boundaries but I also didn't over eat. I was extremely full but I think it's because I'm not used to eating a normal meal since I've been limiting my calorie intake on HCG. I really want to be able to eat normally (whatever that means).
It's Monday. Start of a new week. Here we go.
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